I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
