Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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