he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Welp...herpes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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