I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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