What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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