Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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