You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
