U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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