My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
