I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
