So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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