guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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