I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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