Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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