matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
