He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Never underestimate the power of titties
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
