It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We are all done wearing pants today
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
