if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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