I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize