I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
