I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
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I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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