if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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