my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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