I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
