My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize