were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
