Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
