just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize