hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize