Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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