If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm passing your future prison.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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