I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
