we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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