LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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