I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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