No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
