I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
