hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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