Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
