idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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