I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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