that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
