we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Its about making memories worth repressing
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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