He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize