I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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