You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
