do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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