Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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