talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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