people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
