if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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