Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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