um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
