Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
