i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
