oh god the rape fog is back!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Randomize
