dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
