you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
